We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
