this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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