I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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