I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
