My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
