No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
