What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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