Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
