I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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