Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
