ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
