So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
