my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
