This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
