I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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