How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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