I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
