i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
