names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
