I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
