Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
