just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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