how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
