I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
