Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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