i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
