babies were throwing up all over the place
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
