is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
