i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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