I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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