well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
