You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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