he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
