Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
