I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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