he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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