I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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