I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
