we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
