It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
