new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
