Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
