ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
