Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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