How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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