sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
