I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
