I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
