there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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