im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
