Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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