i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
