His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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